You can fool the fans - but not the players.... John Cage

Malti-Poo hits jackpot, wins big

This little guy got really lucky...

The day before Easter he was left with his toys and his shot records on our daughter's driveway...

We'll never know the story behind that. But we don't think it was entirely random, we think K&S were chosen because of how well they treat their dog. Perhaps whoever had to give up this puppy knew that they'd find him a good home (or keep him).

I just happened to be down south. K just happened to text me about this ball of fur. I mentioned it to my mother. And on Easter....

This puppy found a new home. His temporary mom reluctantly but joyfully said good-bye,

and Marley found his new human companion (and gained another canine companion to boot!).

Marley will never know the rocky start he had to life and how very very lucky he is, but already he has enchanted all of us and become a cherished, much loved member of the family.

What a series of coincidence, chance and good fortune. Just makes you wonder, doesn't it?

That's my horse, of course.

Almost four years ago my friend IM and I headed north to buy horses. Two for he and his wife, one for me. I had high hopes. It was a long-time dream coming and the time seemed like now or never. Truthfully, it might have been a bit late but this is when the pieces all fell into place so this is when it had to be.

We brought home yearlings and embarked on what was -for me - a pretty epic journey. Injuries, hospital time, discouragement, self-doubt, discovery, learning, finding help, finding myself... I don't know, that might pretty much sum it up.

 

 

Along the way I've learned a lot more about people and horses. I've watched Stacy Westfall's magical ride on the mare Roxy countless times.

I've watched Buck Brannaman ride, inhaled his teaching methods and can now hear his voice in my head as I ride. I've got Bill Dorrance's book at home and notes from clinics that I carry with me. I've got diagrams and sketches. I'm a horsemanship freak now. I want to know what my horse is doing every minute I'm riding him or her. I am now the alpha mare more than ever in all the years I've been riding.

I'm learning to trust myself so that she has something to trust.

I'm scared to death every day that I'll screw it up, but so far so good. I'm getting good about watching other people and getting help. I'm a little overly-cautious but I think I'm growing out of that as I realize that a horse needs precisely the opposite. Firm consistent direction and no wishy-washy riding. Ride every ride.

And it is happening. The most incredible feeling of trust and understanding growing between two distinctly different species.

Oh, it isn't anywhere near fully developed yet and we have a long ways to go. But it's there and it is all I ever hoped it might be. Finding a place in a horse's life is like nothing else in the world. It takes so many elements I did not understand at first. It isn't about food or intimidation or repetition. It is about confidence, practice, response, sensitivity, and most of all, time.

“Horses are consistent and logical. The horse will do what is easiest for him. If you make it easy for him to buck you off, kick you, and run away, that’s just what he’s going to do. And more power to him. But if you make it easy for the horse to be relaxed and calm and accurate — and also have it be a beautiful dance between you and the horse — it won’t be too long before he’ll be hunting for that just as hard as you are. Whatever you make easy for the horse, that’s what he’s going to get good at.”

Buck Brannaman

Strange relationships

We were all struck down hard by the loss of Bella a month ago and it has drawn our diverse little family closer together.

 

Our cat has liked all of our mature dogs. He tolerates the puppies.

 

Now there is just the two of them and we see them together more often.

 

They've formed a strange pack and have included the two of us.

 

I know they both miss Bella.

 

It will be interesting to see how this relationship morphs once we get another puppy.

 

Puppy? We're getting a puppy?

Cheese making - part 1: The Goats

When I think of cheese making I think of nuns in France, aging their cheeses in underground vaults. Or the Cowgirl Creamery over on the coast of northern California. I don't often think of our little town. But the art of cheese-making is alive and well here and I had the pleasure of learning the basics of making goat milk ricotta yesterday. And sampling yummy, delicious goat milk from two different does. And taking home a round of rosemary-garlic cheese to share with Mr. Man.

It all starts here:

Did you know that a goat like this can produce up to a gallon of milk a day? I'd guess that if you owned this goat you'd quickly learn to make cheese, and you'd make sure all your friends liked cheese, and you'd create a lot of opportunities to serve cheese.

 

According to the 4H dairy goat website, there are six breeds recognized for milk production.

 

This mama had two week old babies and another mama had one week old babies, 2 each, and cute as can be. I believe she is another alpine and the 3rd mama is a cross between a nubian and an alpine. Nubians have those long ears that hang down and alpines have upright ears. (I could have gotten some of the mixed up as there was a lot of talking going on and I am easily distracted by looking around at everything).

 

I wouldn't want to be their mama, cause some udder-butting was going on that couldn't feel good. Our teacher explained that at this young age the babies have such little mouths that they sometimes have a hard time getting a hold of a teat and then, if they haven't been successful in getting any milk, that teat gets even more engorged and larger. Then the doe has to be milked to relieve the pressure and prevent problems.

 

So dang cute. They had just had their little heads shaved and their horns burned off so they looked a little alien, but they had their milk and then got a little frisky around the pen. Even at two weeks they can jump! And they are pettable, although a bit squirmy.

 

I didn't get any good photos of the one-week babies - they were in another pen. They were sweet too, and would attempt to nurse on a finger if offered. The mamas were quite tolerant of us being there - perhaps it was the bowl of salad that came with us.

 

It was all I could do to not purchase one of these baby does right then and there.

 

Reason took over and reminded me that we have a resort to run and are soon to be temporarily homeless - probably not a good idea to add to our menagerie with a goat right now.

 

I was sorely tempted, though.

Tomorrow - the making of the cheese. Wherein we move to the kitchen, wash our hands, and begin part 2.

Can't neglect the living...

We've been pretty torn up over the loss of our lovely little Bella and her last weekend plays like a looped video in our heads, over and over again. But the days are passing, the pain is easing and there is a lovely, lovely labrador that gently and insistently demands our attention.

 

I mean, how could you resist this face?

 

She depends on us now for all her fun and we have had to step up to meet her needs.

 

More walks, more ball-tossing and throwing, more sticks to run after.

 

More treats, more snuggling, more rides in the car.

 

 

I don't think it quite makes up for the loss of Bella - her running mate, her wrestling companion, her tug-of-war opponent - but she is good to humor us in our attempts to fill the void Bella left.

 

And she fills our heart with laughter and joy again. Dogs.

There is nothing like a dog.

It is so hard to say good-bye

Grief comes in all shapes and sizes - there is something to fit everybody. It takes its time living in your body, coloring your world, changing everything in an instant. No one gets to escape it and the longer you live, the more you have to come to terms with it.

 

We lost our lovely Bella and my heart is broken - again. I realized the other day that what bothers me about getting older is not so much my wrinkles or the changes in my body but the accummulation of loss that comes with time. Dogs and horses have broken my heart again and again yet I keep on inviting them in to steal my heart.

And of course, the scales are tipped the other way. The amount of joy, laughter, and love that an animal brings into one's life is hardly matched by the sorrow. Bella was only with us for seven short months but she was a part of me from the moment I laid eyes on her and the wealth of memories will stay with me long after the pain of losing her eases.

 

It is harder on Feather than it is on JC and me, we think. We can't explain to her why she is suddenly alone for the first time in her three years and she keeps looking for her little buddy. Going back through photos to create these collages I was reminded of how much time the two spent playing. Hours a day. Hours. Now, Feather is stuck with us - boring humans that we are. A walk, a ride in the truck, some time with a tennis ball. Not nearly satisfying.

 

JC throws himself into work and busy-ness in order to deal with the pain and the loss. Me? I write. I write and I reflect and I cry - not just a little, but a lot. I walk and cry, clean house and cry, write and cry. Good thing I work from home cause I haven't been fit to be in public.

 

Bella's death was preventable and that has made it even harder to bear. There is no excuse for not insuring the safety of the animals you take on - and I will probably never forgive myself for not doing the right thing by her. I made a promise to her when I took her home and in return she gave me unconditional, limitless love, loyalty, and trust. And I -we- betrayed that trust. It is a hard thing to live with.

 

You don't know how many times in the last few days I would have given anything to take back that day. And all weekend while we rode the roller coaster of hope and dread just willing her to pull through. And those last hours while I watched her slip away right before my eyes. And those last minutes when I felt her heart stop beating and her last little gasping breaths.

 

What a light she was in our lives. It has been pretty quiet around here the past few days. We go to bed early and sleep late, we go through the motions of daily life. We try to be good to Feather. We've even looked at other Queensland heeler pups on the internet. Because no matter how impossible it is to replace Bella, and no matter how much it hurts to lose her, we will always have dogs. And she showed us what a wonderful breed the cattle dog is and what a great match for a lab. They were quite the pair.

 

JC and I have lost too many good dogs in the time we've been together. Denali to cancer, Abby to old age, Chance to stupidity, and now Bella to poison. Bella and I should have had a long long time together and realizing that we won't is a jagged pill to have to swallow.

 

I've got to move on - I can't let the loss of this lovely puppy paralyze me or jeopardize the many other wonderful things in my life but I feel hollowed out, punched in the gut, empty. She is everywhere I look but she is nowhere.

 

I thought it might help to write this and to post these photos. I've written every detail in my journal and although I may never read it again it helps to get it all out. No judgement there - just the blank pages welcoming the pen and the rhythm of the words going to paper. Journaling has always helped me through the rough spots.

 

So good-bye sweet Bella. Losing you is such a blow. You gave me so much in your brief little life and you will always be with me.

 

Horse time

This winter has been remarkable in what it hasn't brought - little rain, little snow, not even much wind *knock on wood*. What we have had is day after day of perfect riding weather. It has been a great time to get to know my little mare.

 

We've been trail riding, ground-working, and some arena riding all through the winter months. I've developed a good relationship with her, cognizant of her youth, speed and power but also confident of her willingness and good nature. It has been a process and a good one.

 

This last week has been busy with travel and wrapping up a project at work so I've not had a huge amount of time to ride. Turnout after a couple of days cooped up in a corral (no matter how spacious) is always fun to watch and on this day Rhea got to run with another young horse, Cody.

 

He's quite a looker, isn't he?

 

There's such power in a young horse and when they are turned out to play and run it is truly a thing of beauty to see.

 

Most of the time my little phone camera can't capture the speed and I end up trashing most of the shots I take.

 

But glimpses into a horse's life like these are pretty priceless too...

 

So beautiful.

 

I am so grateful for this winter and the time I've had with Rhea. Of course, spring is right around the corner with its wind and fickle nature - there's no telling what it will be like.

 

And we'll be packing up the house, getting ready for the new season at the resort, taking a little trip to Idaho (whoo hoo!).... it'll be busy.

There WILL be horse time involved in some fashion...

 

Right now you'll have to excuse me while I run off and celebrate my birthday - I'll be back soon!

No time to write - what is up with that?

I have been driving a lot and when I'm not driving there is so much to be done - classes to teach and all the responsibilities around that, the house that continues to be cluttered with post-wedding and whatnot, and then the pup (that isn't a pup) any more went into heat. I am constantly doing laundry now as I have towels spread over everything.

 

And of course in our little town there USED to be three pet stores and now there is only one, and when I went to get the little doggie underwear that helps keep everything confined - they were out of them. Really? So all the dogs in the valley went into heat at the same time? Geez.

Anyway, I wound up having to rig something up that requires constant fussing and works only marginally - so I am still doing laundry constantly.

 

This too shall pass.

So many ideas are floating around in my head asking to be made real. The studio is calling big time. Other things are under control - the mare is being ridden, a big project at work is completed. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I'll be back soon, really.

A record-setting December (and not in a good way)

It is not going to snow anytime soon and that means that we will have gone the whole month of December without any precipitation. Persistent high pressure is sitting over us and keeping daytime temperatures higher than normal and the skies clear. When this happens, as it most certainly has in the past, it is all too easy to start worrying. So much depends on snowfall.

So... gotta stay busy and gotta focus on the positive.

On the plus side, the horses are not living in snow and mud pits, and the arena is dry, sandy footing - perfect for an afternoon romp.

 

I'm making a slight change in my routine so that I can accomodate the shorter days and still fit it all in. Get up 1/2 hour earlier, get down to feed earlier, get to work earlier and then I can have the afternoons to be outside.

 

I've got to start riding my mare. Every day I get a little closer to it and my confidence in her has grown immensely since bringing her home. The more time I spend with her the sooner it will all happen. She's proven to me time and time again she has a level head and that she is so willing and eager to please.

 

I don't like being afraid. I don't like the knot in the pit of my stomach or the non-stop chattering my brain does. Looking back, I wish I'd let go when she was a yearling instead of trying to pull her along. Looking back, I wish I'd listened to Luis when he told me to let her have the winter off after her first 30 days as a two-year old.

 

But of course, I can only go forward. And I know, I really know, that this mare and I are going to be fine. Thank goodness for young and brave girls who can keep her ridden while I work through this garbage in my head. And thank goodness for this mild winter giving me all the time in the world to work with her.

 

Other pluses... we haven't had to put the patio furniture away at all. The dogs haven't been muddy.

Er.... what else?

 

Fact is - I'd love to see it storm. But it isn't looking like it will anytime soon so we have two choices. Fret or roll with it. I'm choosing to roll with it, whatever it means.

 

And so is Rhea...

 

Turn out: Horses gone wild (sort of)

Yesterday I just had to get us all out of the house and into the sun. It's been a quiet few days for the dogs and I could feel their energy as they tried to keep themselves out of trouble. Feather managed to cut a paw last week while up at Rock Creek Lake and has had to be kept from leaping over sagebrush and tearing after jack rabbits so that it has a chance to heal, and it is hard on the dogs when they don't get their morning walk.

The horses haven't been out for a few days either and the sun was out, no wind... a beautiful late fall day. I wrapped up work around 2 pm and before diving into a project (or two) I loaded up the old Land Cruiser and we headed south for a couple of hours.

 

Turn out is fun. I love watching the horses drop and roll in the d.g. that makes up the footing of the arena and it must feel so good on their backs. Rhea, who never used to roll, now rolls like it is her favorite thing in the world. There is something so fascinating about watching a 1000 pound animal wallow around, enjoying herself and kicking her hooves up in the air. You can't help but smile.

It has been a long time since this gelding and this mare have been turned out together. When she was a yearling I had them corraled together but as soon as we could acquire another corral we did because we really didn't care for the attitude of the gelding after awhile. He became very possessive of her and it began to be a problem.

 

We now have two large corrals and the mare was gone for over a year (in training). They've been on trail rides together and are only separated by two other corrals. When I take the mare out alone the gelding definitely notices and lets me hear his displeasure. There seemed to be recognition and I decided to turn them out together.

 

They ran and bucked and ran some more. I love watching them race around the arena and cut loose. It isn't like heading out to pasture and it is only for a half hour or so, but they have a chance to get their ya yas out and have a little fun.

 

Meanwhile, after the photo taking, I managed to get the tack room swept out and some of the cobwebs knocked down, the dogs had a couple of hours of playing and running around with some of the other saddle club dogs, and we all got some much-needed sunshine and down time. I really should do this more often. I get caught up with projects at home and as soon as I shut down the work computer it's on to purging and cleaning the art room or working on wedding projects. As long as the weather is good we should be getting out.

Feather's paw is healing quickly and if we can just get through this week we'll be back to our morning walks. Good for them, good for me.