You can fool the fans - but not the players.... John Cage

That's my horse, of course.

Almost four years ago my friend IM and I headed north to buy horses. Two for he and his wife, one for me. I had high hopes. It was a long-time dream coming and the time seemed like now or never. Truthfully, it might have been a bit late but this is when the pieces all fell into place so this is when it had to be.

We brought home yearlings and embarked on what was -for me - a pretty epic journey. Injuries, hospital time, discouragement, self-doubt, discovery, learning, finding help, finding myself... I don't know, that might pretty much sum it up.

 

 

Along the way I've learned a lot more about people and horses. I've watched Stacy Westfall's magical ride on the mare Roxy countless times.

I've watched Buck Brannaman ride, inhaled his teaching methods and can now hear his voice in my head as I ride. I've got Bill Dorrance's book at home and notes from clinics that I carry with me. I've got diagrams and sketches. I'm a horsemanship freak now. I want to know what my horse is doing every minute I'm riding him or her. I am now the alpha mare more than ever in all the years I've been riding.

I'm learning to trust myself so that she has something to trust.

I'm scared to death every day that I'll screw it up, but so far so good. I'm getting good about watching other people and getting help. I'm a little overly-cautious but I think I'm growing out of that as I realize that a horse needs precisely the opposite. Firm consistent direction and no wishy-washy riding. Ride every ride.

And it is happening. The most incredible feeling of trust and understanding growing between two distinctly different species.

Oh, it isn't anywhere near fully developed yet and we have a long ways to go. But it's there and it is all I ever hoped it might be. Finding a place in a horse's life is like nothing else in the world. It takes so many elements I did not understand at first. It isn't about food or intimidation or repetition. It is about confidence, practice, response, sensitivity, and most of all, time.

“Horses are consistent and logical. The horse will do what is easiest for him. If you make it easy for him to buck you off, kick you, and run away, that’s just what he’s going to do. And more power to him. But if you make it easy for the horse to be relaxed and calm and accurate — and also have it be a beautiful dance between you and the horse — it won’t be too long before he’ll be hunting for that just as hard as you are. Whatever you make easy for the horse, that’s what he’s going to get good at.”

Buck Brannaman

A weekend watching and listening to Buck Brannaman

Over the years that I've had horses I've been fortunate enough to attend a few horsemanship clinics and I've read my share of books & watched more than a few DVDs on training. Ray Hunt, along with Bill and Tom Dorrance, developed and taught a method of horsemanship based on learning to feel a positive response from a horse and build on that. It has changed many lives, both horse and human, and Buck Brannaman is following in Ray Hunt's footsteps. One should never pass up a chance to learn from a master, so when I found out that Buck was going to be teaching a four-day clinic not 10 miles from my mom's house it didn't take me long to plan a trip that coincided with the clinic.

It, of course, was full and had been full for a long time, so I couldn't participate with my horses, but I could still go, listen, watch and learn. And I did. I came home with a head stuffed full of tips, "Buck-isms", things to practice, things to strive for. And I got to watch all kinds of riders AND the man himself.

The mornings were horsemanship and the afternoons were cow work. The photos I took of the horsemanship aren't very exciting, but the cow work was a lot more action.

 

Cutting is a really exciting sport that depends so much on the horse having cow saavy, wanting to do the work, and being physically ready to do the quick turns, stops and spins that it requires.

 

A good cow horse is a thing of beauty, power and focus.

That little calf wants to get back to his buddies,

And the job of the horse is to stay between the calf and his buddies...

Those calves are quick and agile,

The rider needs to stay on and stay out of the way...

Stay balanced on the horse...

 

So the horse can do its job.

It is quick and exciting to watch and I can only imagine how much fun it must be to be on the horse.

Probably not as much fun for the calf, but it doesn't last long.

No wonder this sport attracts all kinds of people. I'm ready and I've got the horse - I just need to rise to her level and start doing it. I'm going to start today by practicing all the things I learned over the weekend, the biggest lesson being that there is no gift like the gift of time. Time on the horse, time to let the lessons sink in and become a part of riding, time to let things sort themselves out.

Like everything else - like art, like relationships - it takes 10,000 hours to get through the crap and on to the good stuff.

Oh yes, they know what they are doing...

It isn't uncommon to see horses standing head to tail nuzzling each other's back, espcially this time of year when the hair is coming off in sheets.

 

It seems kinda sweet - "hey, I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine".

 

And on this sunny afternoon that is what I was admiring while cleaning corrals, blending up supplements and considering cleaning my saddle (didn't happen).

 

I was watching Mustang scrape his teeth along Rocket's back and flank, really workin' that hair off..

 

Wondering how on earth he was going to deal with that mouth full of hair. He was watching me watch him, and watching me creep closer with my camera (phone).

 

Things were going good and I could see that Rocket was doing the same for Mustang - a nice, friendly mutual grooming -

until Mustang eyed me again,

 

closed his mouth over that piece of skin on Rocket's flank,

 

and slowly began to pull it outward into a tent. It took a few seconds for Rocket to became aware of the change in activity, but his ears pivoted back and he stepped away with an injured glance at Mustang. And the party was over.

The Gift of Time

We had a blessed rain yesterday and this morning has dawned crisp, sunny and calm. I'm hoping it stays that way for the day since we've also enjoyed hellacious winds over the last few days. I'm ready to get back on my horse and ride.

Circumstances have given me the gift of time right now and it couldn't have happened at a better time. We're packing and preparing to put everything in storage for the summer, we're taking the resort and marketing in new directions, and this is the time for me and my mare to get a lot of rides in.

Seems that time always comes at the expense of money and vice versa - a year ago I was much more comfortably off in terms of income but very stressed for time. Of the two I guess I'd rather go for the time but not to the extent that it starts to affect our ability to pay bills. I'm willing to be frugal but not willing to fall behind. Been there and THAT is not a good place to be either.

This won't last long as the resort will open at the end of May and from then on it'll be a blur of responsibilities and busyness, so the key to this time is to not waste it. And there are days when I do indeed waste it. Usually online. Soooooo many distractions on the internet. All the wonderful bloggers, Pinterest, Facebook, tutorials and how-tos.

I have a friend keeping me dialed in with the arena riding - we both have five year old mares and we are both just getting comfortable with them after getting hurt earlier in their training. We've been watching Buck Branaman DVDs and reading Tom and Bill Dorrance books and helping each other by being eyes on the ground. Sometimes it is good to have someone watching and sometimes it is good to have someone videoing. You can't always tell what is going on from on the horse. Until you get really good. And I'm not there yet.

I watched myself riding Rhea last week and caught several things I didn't even know I was doing - things that could be confusing to her and could muddy up the cues I'm giveing her. Riding is such a fine sport. It's about the horse, about the rider, and about the interaction between the two. It is delicate and subtle most of the time but also requires the rider to step up and be a leader. A true leader.

Horses will test you every now and again, just to see if you are still paying attention and to make sure that you are still worthy of following. Like eternal teenagers. And it doesn't take much to get them back on track but you can't miss it - you can't ignore that test. Our mustang is a classic example. He'll test me regularly but we've been together for so long that the tests come less frequently and he's more accepting of my place in his life. Let someone else start riding him though, like JC, and you can just see the wheels turning in the horse's head. "Who is this guy and what does he know?"

I just love the interaction between horse and human and am truly loving the relationship developing between my mare and myself. Every time I get on her I learn something new and am reluctant to end the ride. So on this clear, bright and sunny day I'm going to take care of my work first thing this morning and clear the afternoon for her - not wasting this precious gift of time.

The filly grows into a mare

Rhea and I have come a long way in the last four years. I was riding with my friend SM the other day and she was on her 5 year old mare from the same herd and the thought struck me that I had really wondered that the day would ever come for me. That I would feel relaxed and confident and in sync with Rhea after the rocky start we had. But I do, and she does, and we are becoming a team.

 

My goal this winter was to just spend time on her. Trail riding and getting out with other horses, no pressure, plenty of exposure to new things, and lots of time with me on her back. We had a very mild winter with many, many great riding days and I was able to slowly and steadily deal with my fears of getting hurt again. I knew that I couldn't sit on her and be afraid - that fear transmits itself through the body and directly to the horse.

 

I did a lot of self-psyching the first few weeks and I even took a little bottle of bourbon to the tack shed and would take a shot before getting on her. Just to take the edge off. It was a big battle for me. She did nothing to worry me - nothing at all. I had a young woman riding her at first, keeping her under saddle while I worked on myself, but then that young woman got too busy with her life and Rhea was all mine again. And I think now that is what had to happen. I knew she couldn't stand around all winter and there was only one person who could commit to keeping her ridden - me.

 

I've really got to hand it to another friend, LR, who babysat me through those first few rides and encouraged me to ride out often. Who found the right balance between pushing and backing off. We rode up into the foothills and down into the valley and every ride I felt a change in me. And Rhea. As my comfort on her grew, her confidence in me grew. She relaxed, I relaxed. Or was it I relaxed, she relaxed? The chicken and the egg question.

 

Then there was the arena. The source of our previous negative encounters. That took some doing, getting me back on her in the arena. The good thing was that it got me back on my mustang and I pushed him to move faster, quicker, and do more so that I could be ready for her. Which was good for him. I'd gotten comfortable and lazy on him.

A person should ride several horses and every once in awhile she should ride someone else's horse. I think we tend to become comfortable once we know our horses and that doesn't do us any favors. When I was working for the pack station, I rode a variety of horses and mules and it honed my skills and kept me awake and aware. I didn't realize over the years since then that I'd become a little complacent. Until I got Rhea.

 

It has been a good road for me. I've had a lot of help and I've had to face my fears. In order to be a good rider for Rhea I've had to become a stronger rider. The pay-off has been huge already.

 

I hope we'll have many years together. 

Horse time

This winter has been remarkable in what it hasn't brought - little rain, little snow, not even much wind *knock on wood*. What we have had is day after day of perfect riding weather. It has been a great time to get to know my little mare.

 

We've been trail riding, ground-working, and some arena riding all through the winter months. I've developed a good relationship with her, cognizant of her youth, speed and power but also confident of her willingness and good nature. It has been a process and a good one.

 

This last week has been busy with travel and wrapping up a project at work so I've not had a huge amount of time to ride. Turnout after a couple of days cooped up in a corral (no matter how spacious) is always fun to watch and on this day Rhea got to run with another young horse, Cody.

 

He's quite a looker, isn't he?

 

There's such power in a young horse and when they are turned out to play and run it is truly a thing of beauty to see.

 

Most of the time my little phone camera can't capture the speed and I end up trashing most of the shots I take.

 

But glimpses into a horse's life like these are pretty priceless too...

 

So beautiful.

 

I am so grateful for this winter and the time I've had with Rhea. Of course, spring is right around the corner with its wind and fickle nature - there's no telling what it will be like.

 

And we'll be packing up the house, getting ready for the new season at the resort, taking a little trip to Idaho (whoo hoo!).... it'll be busy.

There WILL be horse time involved in some fashion...

 

Right now you'll have to excuse me while I run off and celebrate my birthday - I'll be back soon!

The beginning and the end of the day...

We are experiencing an unbelievable spell of stable, warm, sunny weather. You wouldn't think that would be anything to write about except that it means we are not getting the water we need for the rest of the year. Everyday starts with a look at the weather, the realization that again it will be in the 60s and sunny, the acceptance and embracing of that, the worry, and the pushing back of the worry.

 

We are now making history with this dry spell -and is that even what I should call it? When does a dry spell turn into drought? The first snow survey showed us to be at 17% of normal in the Sierra. Yes, it is only January but I just looked at the next seven-day forecast and I see no moisture coming. That puts us into mid-January and that is getting late in the season.

At the same time who can complain about the lovely, lovely afternoons I've been having?

 

There are two lists sitting beside me on the kitchen counter, where I've set up this impromtu stand-up desk. One is a list of to-dos for my classes, the one I'm taking, and the two I'm teaching. The other list is wedding stuff and I keep marching through it, tackling one thing at a time. Work and these lists get juggled, then I head out for a few hours to make sure the dogs and the horses get attention, exercise, and training.

 

Yesterday was a huge break-through for me and my mare. I saddled up the mustang and ponied the mare around for about an hour - now that my teenage helper has bailed out on riding I have to devise efficient ways of getting both these horses out and I especially need to make sure that Rhea is not just standing around. Everything went well and it was such a lovely afternoon I didn't want to stop. So without thinking about it too much I just took the saddle off the mustang, saddled up the mare, and turned the tables. I hopped on Rhea and ponied Smokin' around. And guess what? Once my head was out of the way everything was just fine. Just FINE!

I was floating on cloud nine.

 

Then I went home and made a little floaty crema di limoncello to celebrate. Before getting back to tackling the lists.

Making Limoncello for the new year...

I thought for certain I had already posted this recipe but because I don't have a search function on my blog (bad, BAD blogger - must add one pronto) I couldn't find it and if I can't find it then you probably can't find it. If you like lemons and vodka you need this recipe because it makes the very best lemon drops AND you can make Crema di Limoncello which is heavenly served over ice.

 

I wish I could credit this recipe too, but all I have is the magazine page, torn from its origins, with no hint of where it came from 3 or 4 years ago. The article is by Ann Hood, about her childhood and homemade food...

Whoa! Wait a minute! I just did a search for Ann Hood's limoncello and guess what I found... my own blog and the recipe for limoncello! So without further ado, here it is!

I meant to make limoncello and crema di limoncello a month or more ago and give it away, but time just kept getting past me and other things took priority. I had two bottle of Trader Joe's vodka set aside just for this purpose and kept buying bags of lemons that would go bad in the fridge. Finally, JC came home last night and said he was going to make himself a vodka martini and I thought about how refreshing a lemon drop might be.... and next thing I knew I was knee-deep in lemon zest.

 

I did have a lemon drop to celebrate riding my mare again. I'm just taking baby steps but I think now it will all start accelerating. She is fabulous and I just have to work through the head games and develop some trust in her (and in myself and my abilities again). She wants to please and I have to be completely confident when I'm on her. I kept thinking of that quote that is often attributed to John Wayne, "Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway" as I fumbled my way through tacking her up, ground-working her, doing everything BUT riding her.

Getting hurt, getting older, and feeling the frailty of being human is a hard lesson to learn... I don't really want to learn it. I'd like to somehow regain the fearlessness of youth but something tells me that is gone forever. In its place is a new scale that has to be balanced... the memory of broken bones against the years of time in the saddle and knowing how to ride it out. My body knows how to do this but my head has become the non-stop voice of doubt and fear that I have to just SHUT UP somehow. I'm betting that listening to myself, doing this at my own pace with the help and support of a couple of women I trust will help me find a healthy balance again. I can ride this mare and we will have many years together.

There is the possibility I could turn into an alcoholic while working through this... I keep a "buck-off" bottle of Jack Daniels in the saddle shed now and have been drinking a beer before riding her. I just drained my last Mammoth Brewing Company's Double Nut Brown before yesterday's ride, and don't know what I'll drink before getting on her this afternoon. Taking the edge off the nerves and anxiety is important though - these rides need to be good for both of us. A bit later we can go through ups and downs (well, not literal ups and downs, please and thank you very much) but these first "getting to know you" rides are just confidence-builders. I don't think it will take long now.

What a good way to start off a new year!

A record-setting December (and not in a good way)

It is not going to snow anytime soon and that means that we will have gone the whole month of December without any precipitation. Persistent high pressure is sitting over us and keeping daytime temperatures higher than normal and the skies clear. When this happens, as it most certainly has in the past, it is all too easy to start worrying. So much depends on snowfall.

So... gotta stay busy and gotta focus on the positive.

On the plus side, the horses are not living in snow and mud pits, and the arena is dry, sandy footing - perfect for an afternoon romp.

 

I'm making a slight change in my routine so that I can accomodate the shorter days and still fit it all in. Get up 1/2 hour earlier, get down to feed earlier, get to work earlier and then I can have the afternoons to be outside.

 

I've got to start riding my mare. Every day I get a little closer to it and my confidence in her has grown immensely since bringing her home. The more time I spend with her the sooner it will all happen. She's proven to me time and time again she has a level head and that she is so willing and eager to please.

 

I don't like being afraid. I don't like the knot in the pit of my stomach or the non-stop chattering my brain does. Looking back, I wish I'd let go when she was a yearling instead of trying to pull her along. Looking back, I wish I'd listened to Luis when he told me to let her have the winter off after her first 30 days as a two-year old.

 

But of course, I can only go forward. And I know, I really know, that this mare and I are going to be fine. Thank goodness for young and brave girls who can keep her ridden while I work through this garbage in my head. And thank goodness for this mild winter giving me all the time in the world to work with her.

 

Other pluses... we haven't had to put the patio furniture away at all. The dogs haven't been muddy.

Er.... what else?

 

Fact is - I'd love to see it storm. But it isn't looking like it will anytime soon so we have two choices. Fret or roll with it. I'm choosing to roll with it, whatever it means.

 

And so is Rhea...

 

Turn out: Horses gone wild (sort of)

Yesterday I just had to get us all out of the house and into the sun. It's been a quiet few days for the dogs and I could feel their energy as they tried to keep themselves out of trouble. Feather managed to cut a paw last week while up at Rock Creek Lake and has had to be kept from leaping over sagebrush and tearing after jack rabbits so that it has a chance to heal, and it is hard on the dogs when they don't get their morning walk.

The horses haven't been out for a few days either and the sun was out, no wind... a beautiful late fall day. I wrapped up work around 2 pm and before diving into a project (or two) I loaded up the old Land Cruiser and we headed south for a couple of hours.

 

Turn out is fun. I love watching the horses drop and roll in the d.g. that makes up the footing of the arena and it must feel so good on their backs. Rhea, who never used to roll, now rolls like it is her favorite thing in the world. There is something so fascinating about watching a 1000 pound animal wallow around, enjoying herself and kicking her hooves up in the air. You can't help but smile.

It has been a long time since this gelding and this mare have been turned out together. When she was a yearling I had them corraled together but as soon as we could acquire another corral we did because we really didn't care for the attitude of the gelding after awhile. He became very possessive of her and it began to be a problem.

 

We now have two large corrals and the mare was gone for over a year (in training). They've been on trail rides together and are only separated by two other corrals. When I take the mare out alone the gelding definitely notices and lets me hear his displeasure. There seemed to be recognition and I decided to turn them out together.

 

They ran and bucked and ran some more. I love watching them race around the arena and cut loose. It isn't like heading out to pasture and it is only for a half hour or so, but they have a chance to get their ya yas out and have a little fun.

 

Meanwhile, after the photo taking, I managed to get the tack room swept out and some of the cobwebs knocked down, the dogs had a couple of hours of playing and running around with some of the other saddle club dogs, and we all got some much-needed sunshine and down time. I really should do this more often. I get caught up with projects at home and as soon as I shut down the work computer it's on to purging and cleaning the art room or working on wedding projects. As long as the weather is good we should be getting out.

Feather's paw is healing quickly and if we can just get through this week we'll be back to our morning walks. Good for them, good for me.